Merry Christmas!

I wrote this the day after Christmas and had forgotten to publish this blog, hence it was kept as draft. 

Yesterday on Christmas Eve my family and I had a potluck party. I was excited because my mother lets me use the kitchen to serve twelve people with my spaghetti and meatballs as the main dish. To be honest, I'm an amateur at cooking. I've never taken cooking classes before. I just learn cooking through easy cook book magazines. My mom NEVER taught me how to cook, she never encouraged it (in the past). I can't bake very well, and once I've almost set my oven on fire (I had a mini panic attack….actually close to major) and had to convince my mom that I'll promise to be more careful with "her" kitchen (okay, maybe I understand why my mom doesn't encourage me to use the kitchen). It took me a long time to convince her of the benefits if she lets me use the kitchen. I'm really stubborn, so in the end sometimes, people eventually will just let me do what I want, (because to my family, i'm a headache). But anyway, when I was young (like grade 1/2 maybe), I remember that while my mom was taking a nap, I sneaked into the kitchen, took out a baking pan, and start pouring random ingredients together. Like many Asian parent stereotypes in Western culture, my mom was ready to take out her bamboo stick so that her daughter can be disciplined (I would never ever do that to my own children). Because of my quiet appearance (I am an introvert), I seem to get under an impression that I'm a "good girl". And because of this misconception, it is is the very opposite of what I really am because in reality, I talk back, I argue...or otherwise, I just become lazy and not argue. In truth, even when I talk or am obliged to talk with people, I am a bundle of nerves inside.  

 But back to the topic, I felt accomplished yesterday because I felt the rush and stress about getting the dishes together, just prepping and cooking away. The only thing that I didn't accomplish was the "cleaning" part that I left in the kitchen because I felt so pressured and anxious. In the end, it was all worth it. I loved seeing people's faces when they taste my food, and was even complimented by a 19 year old boy of how much he likes my spaghetti! It made my day, and lifted up my spirit  :) 

Nothing beats a beautiful white Christmas (three days before the snow melts on Christmas Eve). I really love my home...

I finished reading a really amazing book called "In Mania's Memory" by Lisa Birnie. I spent a long time reading this, just going back and re-reading it because the biography of the holocaust survivor and the nazi guard is just so unimaginable and remarkable...it was difficult to put the book down. Reading the story was sad and depressing but at the same time however, I liked how the author linked two of the characters' story together, similar to the fictional story of 1Q84 by Murakami Haruki, between Aomame and Kawana Tengo.